what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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