So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
