I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
accomplished twins. life is a go
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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