I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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