I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
