u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize