strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
