Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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