i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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