Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize