I'm really into asian looking animals
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.