I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.