Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back