Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.