We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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