So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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