she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
