belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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