ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
