It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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