this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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