We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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