you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I woke up under a house in Key West
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
