I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize