there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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