Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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