dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
birth control should be required to get into college
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
