At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't put those talents on a resume
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
