I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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