I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
