i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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