wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
