apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
