Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
