Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
