Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
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gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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