i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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