I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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