How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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