oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
