He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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