My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
