you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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