I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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