Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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