i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
