I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
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i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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