Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
