Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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