I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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