I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
