Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
