4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
