dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
