i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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