Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
