Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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