Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
