he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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